The Rise and Fall of Spit Dancing

Dancing has graced our planet for many years. From the first day man discovered fire, our kind have been busting out 'the robot' to primitive beat-boxing. Before then, we were purely moonwalking in the dark.




But now, we move into the darker side of contemporary 'dance', the dark shadowey concept of 'spit dancing'. The inconspicuous 'trend' first arose during the mid 80's, with confused disco fans experiencing the hard, fashionable drugs of the decade. These hard party-goers would mix cocaine with the likes of duckzade and hero-japot - these drugs closely linked with recent climate change, and Al-Qaeda








Above we can see an average 'spitter'. In an act called 'preparing', the dancer gets 'into the zone', 'huffle-ing' a batch of your finest 'treacle', opening their mouth, and bending to the floor. These are the initiation rites, if you will, to the dance. From this position, the treacle mixes with the users salivapods, sending buckets of spittle to the ground.

The dancer now has his, OR HER dance floor.

The Dance can now begin. With the user 'letting the spit take over', shapes are created around the the spit. However, one may never touch the spit. Just look at what happened to this unlucky - as the 'hardcoreys' say - 'toucher'.

BASTARDS.